sirius20_81: (glaucoma medication)
WARNING: most of this is a recap post

I did my first work out today on the new bike. I feel good, but I'm seriously going to need help staying motivated. According to the "MyFitnessPal" app my goal is about 1950 calories a day. So far I'm doing good with it, but I really need to cut back on my sodium. To make matters even more difficult, I'm also giving up smoking and pepsi. So any encouraging thoughts, or genuinely helpful non-preachy advice is absolutely appreciated. I'm really going to need all the support and gentle nagging I can get, I've got about 150 to lose. But if I stay on track and don't plateau, according to my goal sheet I could get there in about 75 weeks. Wish me luck guys.
sirius20_81: (metacrisis)
So it has dawned on me that this Saturday I'm going to be 29. I remember back in the day (all the way back in high-school) I never thought I'd make it to 30. And now I really want to. So I've decided that I'm really going to try to get healthy(er).
I've never been small, but since I had my son, my weight has gotten ridiculous. So I've gone on a diet which includes (but is not limited to) Slim Fast and giving up Pepsi as well as a food diary app on my iPod. Tomorrow my mom is buying me a recumbent bike so I can sit in front of my TV for hours and get massive leg muscles.
Also, I'm trying to quit smoking. Honestly, the smoking started as a replacement for food. And then it just kind of spiraled. The food thing is going to be so much harder than smoking though, cuz I'm an emotional eater. I've always eaten when I was sad, and eaten to celebrate things, and eaten cuz I was bored. Then I started smoking, but it really only helped when I couldn't get food. Otherwise I would just smoke, then eat, then smoke again.

So if I seem really snippy in the up coming months, it's just because I'm hungry. And old. Please be gentle with me.
sirius20_81: (shenanigans)
really, i don't think i should share most of my thoughts on the Superbowl. but i'll go ahead and give you a few.

I'm not sure who that quarterback was, he looked like Peyton. He threw a couple passes like Peyton. But he just didn't play the whole game like Peyton.
Also, who ever that team was on the field in the Colts uniforms in the second half: The Colts would like them back now.
We just didn't play like ourselves. We totally fucking gave up. Also: Why couldn't the defense tackle anyone?

The rest of my thoughts, while valid points, would only seem like the bitching of a sore loser (Freeney was being held ALL NIGHT) and some of them would sound downright douchey.

So congratulations Saints and Saints fans. I remember how it felt 3 years ago when we won. Hell, had you been playing any other team I would have been rooting for you. I know the city could really use a win. But, as any fan of Family Guy knows "Everybody gets one". Don't waste it. And remember: the Colts will be back again, and we won't be so easy to beat next time.
sirius20_81: (Default)
Again I want to say thank you to everyone who helped us out back in August. Thanks to you all we made it through, kept our apartment, and I actually managed to pull in a part time job. I come to you again, yes, asking for money. However, this time it is not for us.
My son has the opportunity to participate in St. Jude's annual Mathathon. More info about the program is available here:
So we come asking for donations. All money collected will go directly to St. Jude.
If you would feel more comfortable simply donating to the site personally, I completely understand. If you would rather send us a check/money order (which is also completely understandable), let me know and I will get back to you with an address and who to make them out to. I'm only putting the paypal button on here to give every option available for people who would like to donate.

Thank you so much!

ETA: The deadline for donations is February 1st.
sirius20_81: (Default)
so, obviously I didn't die. I did, however, go out shopping at 11:00 pm on Thanksgiving. Why, you ask? Because I'ma dumbass and everything in Toys R Us was half off and they opened at midnight. Well, I got to Toys R Us and said, literally, "holy fuck balls, that's fucking ridonkulous, fuck that". This statement was made due to the fact that there was a line of at least 1000-1500 people standing outside in the cold. I decided to bypass the toys and go to Old Navy which was opening at 3 and was giving out Lego Rock Band (while supplies last) if you spent $20. Well, my son needed a new coat and gloves, so I figured why not. I dragged my mom and my sister with me (we always go Black Friday shopping together). Now I have Lego Rock Band, and will be giving it to 2 people on my Christmas list (neither of whom will read this, so I'm safe). However, I had to wait, in line, in the mall (with cardboard Bella staring at me the whole time), for 5 hours. What happened was, according to the national ad campaign, Old Navy was supposed to open at three. At 2:30 we were informed by the security guards that our Old Navy would not be opening until five. By this point I was half way through the wait, and was pretty damn sure I'd be getting at least one copy of the game (a $50 value, just so you know), so I decided what the fuck. At 5:30, I walked out after having spent $21 and recieving a really nice winter coat ($50 originally), a pair of gloves and a hat (both half off), and 2.5 games (I'm splitting one with my sister). I saved $115 all told just from Old Navy, almost 6 times what I gave them. Score!
We then went to Half Price Books. They were giving away tote bags to the first 100 people in the store. Of those 100, 99 contained $5 gift cards, and one contained a $100 gift card. My thought was " I love half price books, and they're going to GIVE me $5, plus 20% off everything? Hells yeah I'm going". I bought about 10 books, used the gift card and spent about $1 of my money. We took a break for about an hour since I had to drop my roommate off at Hot Topic for work. We then went back by Toys R Us to see if the hoopla had died down. We found a parking spotright up front and were in and out in about 45 minutes with all but 2 items on our collective lists. With everything being half off, I spent $60 (on toys, I also bought novelty candy that was not on sale), but I saved $60. Then we went to Wal-mart just to see what was left over. I bought some soda and a sock monkey (it's green striped!). I was not impressed by anything else there. I then came home and slept for 17 hours.

So, all told, I spent about $100, and saved about $180. I really only need to get gifts for 2 more people, and maybe 1-2 more things for my son and my Christmas shopping is done. I think that's a pretty successful Black Friday.

However, I now feel really bad because there's someone who really could use some help monetarily and I just spent all day giving away money. Here's a link if you can help out: , as soon as I get to the gas station to get money on my debit card, I will be sending you something. I promise, should be no later than 8 tonight.
sirius20_81: (sad)
Sometimes I can be such a girl.

Today, my fiance and I have our 6th anniversary. I really just wanted to take a minute to say that I love him so very much that it's sickening sometimes. I'm just so blessed and ridiculously grateful to have him in my life.

I know that the beginning of our relationship was strained at best, but you've stuck by me. I'm not the easiest person to be around all the time. I have been known to be certifiably (literally) insane, but you've always been there for me. It can't be easy to love someone who sometimes hears inanimate objects talking, sometimes sees things that aren't there. Someone who really doesn't understand why you stick around. Someone who has days (or weeks) where all they seem to do is mope and cry. But you stay. And while I don't understand it, I appreciate it from the depths of my soul.

I know that my pregnancy was hard on me, I can't even imagine how it was for you knowing that you may lose me or the baby if I chose to go through with it, and I can't tell you how much it meant to me that you supported my decision to try. Thank you for our son.

I know that working 12 hour days doing manual labor, sometimes out of town for months, isn't easy on you (in fact it's tearing your body apart), but I deeply appreciate everything you do for me and our family.

I know that I don't know where I would be without you.

I know that I love you. I love you more than I thought I would be able to love anyone. I've loved you since I first met you in that stupid coat with that stupid hair cut. I'm just happy that you've apparently found something in me that has kept you around for the last 6 years. I can only hope that whatever it is will keep you around for the rest of our lives.

Thank you.
sirius20_81: (fuckusay)
OK, I shared this on Twitter, but I'll post it here too. I was driving to pick my mom up from work, just rollin' along, listening to the radio. Then the song "Anna Molly" comes on. Its always reminded me of Anna because of the title (her name is Anna Molloy). So I have the thought "I miss Anna". About 30 seconds later my phone beeps and I figure Chris wants me to pick something up on the way home. I look at the message and it says, hand to god, "Miss U 2" from Anna. Now, Anna was buried with her cell phone, and she never had my cell number. No one in her family ever had my cell number. Explain that Clarissa.

ETA: Anna died over a year ago.

ETA (again): I guess it's a good thing the message didn't say "See you soon"
sirius20_81: (fuckusay)

So, I had an awesome day. Starts out by dumping rain on me and my son as we wait for his bus to Kindergarten. Then I get home and there's a knock on my door. It's CPS. I freak out thinking someone turned me in for being broke and they're going to take my son. My stress level was not good at that point. But no, turns out my ex-stepfather is being a fucking douchebag to my mom.

Backstory )


Aug. 16th, 2009 01:28 pm
sirius20_81: (Default)
As some of you know, I've been looking for a job for months. My fiance has been looking for a job for almost a year, since he got laid off from his job of 6 years. We haven't been able to find anyone willing to hire us. His unemployment is about to run out, we're about a week away from being evicted, and our 5 year old son still needs to eat. I just need a little bit of help until someone will hire me. I'm not proud, I've been standing out on the corners with signs, in between filling out every job application I can get my hands on, and I do mean EVERY application. If it wasn't for my son, I wouldn't bother to ask, but I'm desperate. Please help me. Even if it's just to give me a lead on a job, it would be super hugely appreciated.
Thank you so much.

ETA:I never thought I'd get such a response from Cleo's fans. Thank you so much. I think I'm going to be able to make rent thanks to you guys. I can't tell you how much it had renewed my resolve to just keep going. Not to mention the refurbishment of my faith in people. I'll keep you guys updated on the situation as it progresses, but know that you have, without a doubt, made a significant difference in my family's lives today. Bless you all.

sirius20_81: (Default)

my son's birthday party was this past weekend, so without further ado, here's some pictures:


more pics )


more pics )


sirius20_81: (sad)
Alright, I'm going to be gone for a day, I've got to drive to Nebraska. In the meantime, keep an eye out on Snuggles for me.

And don't let the internet blow up while i'm gone, alright guys?


May. 30th, 2009 12:59 pm
sirius20_81: (Default)
Ok, only because I've gotten this question quite a few times am I going to write this. YES, I am a Harry Potter geek. I've seen the movies, read the books multiple times (even quidditch through the ages, magical creatures and where to find them, and the tales of beedle the bard), have the Hogwarts banner prominently displayed above my tv, carry a Gryffindor crest purse, have a HP themed tattoo on my neck, etc... NO MY SCREEN NAME DID NOT COME FROM HARRY POTTER. Nor did it come from a satellite radio company. I've had this screen name for the last 10 years. It comes from astronomy. Sirius, you know, the Dog Star? The brightest star in the night-time sky. Found just below Orion in the southern sky in fall/winter. Means brilliant (or sparkling) one in latin. I had a big star obsession back then, still kind of do.

And while we're on the subject of names, YES I am a huge Buffy fan (I would say geek, but then I'd get out-geeked by Dayna), YES, my son's name is Xander, NO I did not name him after Xander Harris. He's actually named after my best friend (some of you know him as hot topic roommate) Matt. His middle name is Alexander, which is boring, so we chopped it.

So there you go. While I have two potentially uber-geeky names in my life, they are not actually uber-geeky. Now if I ever have a daughter she is SCREWED because we are, in fact, going to name her after Milla Jovovich's character in Fifth Element. I like the name Leelu, and it works with the chosen middle and last names: Shea Renollet (it's french, pronounced like Chevrolet)
sirius20_81: (memorial day)
Any one who knows me knows I'm pretty anti-war. This is not to say I'm anti-soldier. I love soldiers. My mother was a soldier, my ex-step-father was almost deployed to Iraq the first time around. My grandfather fought in Korea.

I appreciate the men and women who put their lives on the line so that we can continue to enjoy our way of life. I just don't agree with war.

Anyway, I cannot thank the people who serve in our armed forces enough, especially those who have given their lives in one form or another. I will not forget you.
sirius20_81: (Default)
Ok, so I owed a good chunk of money to comcast (nearly $460) so I got disconnected. I made a payment of $300 on Tuesday and got reconnected. So today, my cable box doesn't work again. I call Comcast and guess what? Apparently they disconnected the cable because I still owe $180 that's now overdue, but only the TV signal, I still have phone and internet. Things I don't understand about this:

A)I just payed on Tuesday (which is still pending for some reason, which is funny cuz I paid cash)

B)Why do I owe for services I had no access to while disconnected?

C)How in the hell does 460-300= 188?

At this point I just want to pay them off and move to Dish Network. I'd pay less for phone and internet than I do now for just internet, and I'd be able to get HD channels for less than I pay for standard definition channels at this moment.
sirius20_81: (Default)
ok, i'm fucking broke. there's no two ways about it. i'm lucky to pay my rent every month. and this month, i can't afford my cable bill. so there goes my internet. i'm not sure how long i'll be gone, but it will be a little bit. don't worry though, i will be back, i promise.


Apr. 12th, 2009 11:21 pm
sirius20_81: (Default)
Well, I said I'd post pictures when they were healed. So here ya go, my new tattoos:

This tattoo is actually in memory of the little girl I was a nanny for when I first moved back to Indiana. When I met her, she was 5 and had just started Kindergarten. Now, the thing about Anna is, when I met her, she was dependent on an oxygen tank and a trach. Anna was born with multiple birth defects, including an extremely rare form of dwarfism, partial deafness (hence the sign language), poor eyesight, early puberty, and so on. As she got older, her lungs got worse and she had to be placed on a mobile ventilator. She was still a little terror, as girls can be, but she was also the sweetest little girl ever. When she was 7 years old, her parents were told they had a matter of months left with her before her heart finally gave out. For comparison, the oldest person on record with her condition was 12. Unfortunately, her mother and I just couldn't get along after a few years and I moved out (it's a long story, if you want to know I'll fill you in, just not right now). I missed her horribly. This past March she was in the hospital again because she started having seizures (my mom's a nurse at the children's hospital so she kept me informed). I went to visit her, gave her a bracelet I made, told her I missed her. She went into the hospital again in July. Sadly this time she didn't leave. A little over 2 months shy of her 13th birthday her heart finally gave up. And now it's getting hard to type, so if you want to ask any questions about her or her charity work (yes, she did charity work) I'll answer them, I'm just having trouble collecting my thoughts now.

And now for something completely different:


a brand new shiny nickle goes to the person who knows what that is (and yes, it is actually straight on my neck, it's just really hard to get a good picture of for some reason)


Apr. 7th, 2009 11:53 pm
sirius20_81: (Default)
i'm scared

i mean, WTF was that?
sirius20_81: (Default)
[Error: unknown template qotd]willful ignorance. stupidity annoys me, but people who know they're stupid but choose to do nothing about it (i'm not saying they have to be geniuses, just not drooling morons) annoy the shit out of me.

and people who ask questions they don't really want answers to. like "hey, you wanna run to the store for me?" "no" and then they throw a fit cuz you don't want to go. why not just ask me to go to the store for you, then you can bitch cuz i won't. if you want me to do something, ask me to do it, don't ask if i want to, or if i mind, cuz you may not like the answer. although people who ask me a question and then don't listen to the answer annoy the fuck out of me too.
sirius20_81: (Default)
i'm seriously horrible about keeping up with this thing. i just never seem to have anything to say. i guess it doesn't really help that in my circle of friends, i'm the only one who uses this site.

well, my birthday's coming up, and my mom keeps asking what i want... sadly  i have to tell her: cash. i need cash. cash is awesome, it pays bills.

and now my ADD is kicking in and i've lost interest in talking about myself. so i'm gonna go now. not that anyone's reading this anyway.
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